Feelings: Indicators vs. Dictators

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As we navigate this thing called life, how often do we realize when something is not working properly in our lives:  being broke, overweight, underweight, paralyzed by our thoughts, lack of confidence, social media addiction etc.  Most often we know what to do to fix the situations and change what is not working, however we spend most of our time talking ourselves out of taking the small steps needed to change and fix the problem and listening to our feelings! What is that about?

We know what to do, but something is fueling our behavior to not make the choices needed to change our situation.    

Doing the consistent little things over time make all the difference!! Micro habits work.  Consistency is key. True change comes down to split-second decisions that require a choice.  As soon as we stop to think about what our next step should be, we need to push ourselves out of our comfort zone to ‘do the thing’ that is a choice that gets us one step closer to the result. 

In 2018, my goal was to compete in a figure competition.  I had to create micro habits that would lead to that lofty, out of my comfort zone type of goal.  I had to show up when my FEELINGS told me otherwise.  I had to listen to my feelings as indicators as to what was going on and not allow my feelings to be the dictators of my actions.  If I would have allowed my feelings to dictate and boss me around, I would still be sitting on my sofa not achieving my goal. 

There are 2 things you need to remember when you embark on something new:

1) You are never going to FEEL ready.  You will never feel ready to start that business, to write that book, to compete in a race, to limit social media, to spend less, to apply for that promotion, to get out of bed early.  We are designed to stay comfortable.  Our bodies are hardwired to mitigate risk and keep us comfortable. 

2) No one is coming to pick you for whatever it is you want to do. You need to select yourself and go for it.  You want to write that book, then pick yourself and get out there and do the daily behaviors that will get you there! Stop waiting for the red carpet to be rolled out because it isn’t going to happen.  Roll it out for yourself.

When it comes to those split-second decisions that require action, are you willing to lean into what is uncomfortable in the moment or are you going to create an excuse to why you aren’t the right person to go after that goal?

In that moment when your adrenaline is pumping, and you want to raise your hand in the board room to offer your input, are you going to step up and raise your hand? Remember, no one is going to wait to pick you.  When you are sitting across the room from someone who has caught your eye, are you going to walk over and strike up a conversation?  Are you going to step into that situation or pull back from the situation?  Those split-second decisions are entirely up to you and WILL determine how you show up and live life. Are you able to identify what is self-sabotaging you?

During those split-second decisions you can’t choose how you are feeling.  Feelings will show up to indicate what is going on and that is ok.  Most often we let those feelings not only be indicators but dictators on how we act and behave.  When faced with a split-second decision, we might not ‘feel’ like following through with the actions required to achieve our long-term goal.  We need to show up regardless of our feelings! 

Disregard your feelings.  Yes, I said ‘disregard your feelings’.  Start becoming so in tune with your values and what you want, that you don’t listen to your feelings and allow them to dictate your split-second decisions.  Even if you are tired you can still go to the gym.  Even if you are mad at your spouse, you can still speak kind loving words.  Even if you don’t feel like saving money by eating in, you can create a meal at home.  You have the power to create what you want by being the boss of your feelings!

Your feelings are not a choice.  Your behaviors and actions are a choice! What will you choose today?

Here’s to a Happy, Healthy, Blessed New Year.

8 Responses

  1. Awesomeness

  2. Brittany K Thacker

    Reminding yourself that you DO have a choice and to not be a victim to your feelings is very empowering. Great message, thanks for sharing!

  3. Robby Key

    So true. Thanks for sharing Jenn

  4. So true! Feels so good to recognize the power we each have to create our own future!

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